So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
