yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
