who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
