I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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