Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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