The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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