he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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