Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
