I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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