It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize