When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
