no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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