just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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