Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its not stalking. its research.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize