The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
