Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A+ Viking dick
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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