my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I am naked and annoyed.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize