There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
