If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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