And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
