this boner is exhausting
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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