My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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