Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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