her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
