I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
