Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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