that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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