I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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