They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
