8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
