i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
