Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
