I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
