Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if only i could text you this smell
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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