Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Terrible idea I love it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
