This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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