we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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