My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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