You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
