I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
