Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
