coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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