My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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