Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
