Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
