He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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