I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
