Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
