just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
