She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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