two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
