I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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