the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
