when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
