ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
