i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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