Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
