You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
