Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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