You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
