Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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