thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
