Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize