I think i peed on brittanys purse
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
