I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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