google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
