I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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