I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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