dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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