Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
